- A PRIVATE FUNERAL is when a small gathering of immediate family and close friends, attend by invitation only.
Although most celebrities usually have private funerals, the average services are open
to the public. There are good and understandable reasons for choosing a private funeral.
First and foremost, of course is it’s private.
- Some people have led very private lives and may request that their funeral be a quiet intimate affair with only their close family and friends in attendance. The family may feel
they want privacy at a very emotional and difficult time because they are unable to cope with their grief in public.
- It maybe that the person arranging the funeral just can’t cope with organising a large gathering in their state of grief. Also, expense and budget may come into it and that is certainly a private decision and nothing to be ashamed of.
How many times have you heard someone say “I went to his funeral; the church was packed!”
Suggesting that somehow that it was an indication of the deceased’s popularity! Whilst that may be so, I don’t think that it is necessarily the case! It may just be that they were a member of a very large family or worked for a large company or belonged to lots of organisations, possibly represented by people that were unknown to them!
Conversely the fact that a private funeral is not attended by lots of people is also no reflection on the popularity of the deceased! But simply the choice of the people concerned.
A private funeral reduces the pressure on the organisers of the occasion, financially and emotionally. Whilst providing a meaningful and intimate funeral for their loved ones, the pressure of having to have a top of the range casket, an expensive showy floral display, several funeral cars and an expensive wake may be avoided.
Emotionally a smaller private funeral means you can grieve without the pressure of having to conceal your grief, in a room full of people, some of whom you may not know. You may not feel strong enough to socialise and exchange small talk with a lot of people at such a difficult time. A private funeral also avoids the need for prolonged funeral planning thus removing the stress when least able to cope with it and at a time when you would rather focus on coping with your grief and the grief of others who were close to the deceased.
Another advantage of a private funeral is that there are many ways for close friends and family to celebrate the life of the deceased for instance, why not choose to go to the deceased’s favourite restaurant and share memories together, or if its summer time how about a picnic somewhere peaceful, it’s a huge comfort to be with people you love and trust and share a happy time to remember for ever, something special between just you and your nearest and dearest.
It is of course, a very personal choice, and it really is a case of what you feel you want at the time and also what the deceased may have chosen.
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